and then i feel sad for being so mad at my body :(
it has to be the most ~*trivial*~ shit about my carpal tunnel and chronic back pain that makes me the most frustrated.
often times i can’t open jars or bottles, i can’t twist things, i can’t really tug at things
and then just now i went to pick up 5 medium pizzas for my co workers and i carried it for less than 1 minute from the shop to my car and my back is like “this is fucking awful!”
and i’m like damn really, i can’t even carry 5 medium pizzas. this is awful. this is sad and awful.
hey! thanks for messaging me.
i can give some experiences around past relationships where problematic shit has come up and hopefully it’ll be of value.
i think some of the most problematic shit that’s come up in my past relationships has been around power and privilege differences along lines of race. i’ve dated my fair share of white folks and that shit came up a lot. there were a lot of times that i was hella passive aggressive and there were a lot of times that i was angry and unapproachable. fortunately, the times when i did give myself and the person i was dating compassion, they’ve been pretty responsive.
in my current relationship, we challenge each other to stay on our game and to also be accountable when we do problematic things. that’s a commitment that we share and that’s being honest with ourselves and with each other and that even though we share a lot of experiences there are a lot of differences in our powers and privileges.
so i would say that if your partner is saying and doing a lot of problematic shit and doesn’t take you seriously when you bring it up maybe it’s time to have a conversation bout the problematic shit and also about values. it sounds like you value accountability and being responsible to the ways we do problematic things and that’s not so much the case for her.
it’s always really draining and difficult to educate folks who aren’t willing to learn. with that said, i don’t have any sort of recommendation either way but just a reminder to move from a place of love for yourself and for your partner. if the conversation around values comes to show the both of y’all that you’re just in really different places and don’t center anti oppression in the same ways then that’s sort of what it is.
we definitely don’t need to coddle folks who do problematic shit but i think we also have to remember that all of us do problematic shit. so yeah, give some compassion to yourself, take care of yourself, pull in other resources to move these conversations along and offer compassion to her because it’s obvious that you care about her, you believe in her ability to transform and change, and you want it to work out.
i would also encourage you to think about other reasons why you’d like to stay (or not stay) in this relationship and examine the sort of dynamic that is created when you don’t see yourself as her partner or see her as your partner but instead the person who will educate her.
i hope this helps some!
|—||Maya Angelou (via creatingaquietmind)|
[photo: overhead view of a black cat lying in the grass. there are white flowers surrounding it and white flowers placed on its body.]
[photo: light skinned latino man facing the viewer and smiling at the camera. Jorge is standing on concrete and behind him are rocks and forest. he is wearing a brown and gray t shirt, text on it reads, “no more mr. nice guy.” he is wearing blue jeans and a back pack. the straps are black with a strip of red.]
For everybody in southern Arizona and Texas:
Jorge was abandoned by his guide in the beginning of May while crossing north. He had been vomiting and had severe abdominal cramping. His full name is Jorge Humberto Menjivar Guardado. He is 40 years old.
He left El Salvador on April 5 and stayed in Reynosa until April 29. His family says he was headed to Houston, Texas.
No one has had word of him since he left Reynosa.
Please share this information with anyone who might be able to help, especially if you are near the border region.
If you see him or hear anything about him, please call:
- The Mexican Consulate in Tucson (if found in AZ): @ 520-882-5595 or 520-623-7928
- Consulate in Brownsville, Texas @ 512-882-3375
- Consulate in Del Rio, Texas @ 830-775-2352
- Consulate in El Paso @ 915-533-3644
I live in the border region near Brownsville. I’ll keep an eye out for ‘im.
I never knew the quantity of undocumented folks on Tumblr until I gave a quick glance at the DACA tag.
Looking through I saw that many people have been waiting for more than 5 months. That’s where this comes in!
So USCIS never said that DACA werkpermits were any different from regular work permits. Therefore your DACA is the same as everyone else’s work permits and by that I mean the rules established for these permits apply to DACA.
That’s why if you’ve waited for more than 75 and haven’t heard from or received anything from USCIS, make sure to do the steps listed on the website above!
A couple of my friends from the IEIYC did this and a week after they submitted a request they got their permit.
(TW: questions about drug and alcohol use, abuse, and tough stuff about your relationship with your parents.)
Hey, how about helping out some grad students? If you are at least 18 years old, identify as APIA LGBTQ, and reside in the United States, please consider participating in the “The QAPI Study.”
“So I shouldn’t be surprised that the Mother’s Day Parade shooting has largely been forgotten. On Sunday, shots were fired into a crowd during a parade in the New Orleans 7th ward. Police said they saw three suspects running from the scene.
This is the largest mass shooting in the United States where the shooters were still at large after the crime was committed. Think about that for a minute. From Columbine to Virginia Tech to Fort Hill to Aurora, all the shooters were either killed or apprehended on site. But the person or people responsible for shooting 19 Americans are still free.”
The 16-year-old high school student who was arrested after causing a small explosion on school grounds will not be charged with a crime.GOOD.
Yay. I hope she’s not traumatized from her arrest and I hope her life goes well.
Oh, great news.
you are my 4,400th follower (damn y’all, wow).
here’s some more information on me:
- my name is loan and here’s how you pronounce it
- you’ll see sometimes that in my writing i refer to myself as “she” and “her” and “daughter” or “girl” in order to be real about the ways my girlhood still exists in the relationships i have with people (like my mother) whose access (or lack thereof) to extensive dialogue about queerness, tranness, and pronouns is not of high priority.
- southerner - avid cookout and hushpuppy eater
- viet, viet-american, azn, poc, migrant
- about my body: abled bodied, chronic back pain, arthritis, scoliosis, light skinned, conventionally attractive/fits into white supremacist economy of attraction, thin privilege
- organizer doing non-paid organizing work with some feelings about the non profit industrial complex, unpaid internships, and paid organizing. let’s talk about that! if you’re interested in conversations about organizing around queer and trans liberation, economic justice, anti-racist work, and migrant justice work you can hit me up too
- everyday i am learning how to be a better person, fully invested in the notion that we are all just walking each other home
- i don’t seek to swell the ranks of revolution. my life is dedicated to love and compassion for our collective liberation. where my life lacks love and compassion is where my work lies.
- you can check out my writing under the ‘writing’ tag. but here are some of my personal favorites: the mom and the tailor, sisterhood, Tết and how food survives (us), yellow brown skin girl, white feminists, intersections, the struggle is real, sex when you are fetishized, a tribute to working kids, to my mother, a bill of rights for marginalized peoples
i believe in the power of storytelling for us to communicate ideas often hijacked and complicated by academic language. i talk about racism, classism, capitalism, heterosexism, etc through writing.
you can contact me in my ask box, fanmail, or email n.loantran@gmail. if you run across me on facebook, message me when you friend request.