i have a thing about adults telling kids that they’re “really mature” for their age or that they’re “not really” kids. i think it just sets them up for some unhealthy expectations about themselves for the rest of their lives - i know that shit happened to me because i had to grow up fast to translate for my parents and take care of myself when they couldn’t because of language and resource inaccess.
it’s important for our kids to know it’s okay for them to be kids
these days i’m really trying to remember to let my 9 year old sister know she is still a kid even when she is the tallest and biggest in her classes and is constantly mistaken for and expected to be a teenager.
this shit is just so important, especially for kids of color, little girls of color who start facing fucked up shit far too young because the rationalization is that they’re “really mature” for their age.
white people saying shit like “i don’t see color, i see humans” is so fucked because while they think it’s ~*anti-racism*~ it actually reinforces the dominant idea that color =/= humanity because it doesn’t recognize how much of people of color’s humanity is constructed by and defined by race in this world. and of course, continues to position white people as just people and just human. white people only wanna see other white people is what they’re saying.
i know that sometimes i am hard to make sense of, that sometimes no matter how many times you bring me in closer, rub my head and kiss my nose, i am reluctant to believe that i am not a burden or difficult, annoying, upsetting to be around. i know that even when i am trying hard to hold it together for my own sake, you don’t ask me to pretend to be ok for you. i know that in the morning when i wake up searching for you, the smallest smile as you slowly open your eyes will do.
i know that when the world around me feels unreal, when i spend hours or even days believing that this is all a dream because i’m so in my head, feeling lost and scared, you help keep me in reality without shaming me or pressuring me to get grounded again.
i am only really starting to know how everything in my life has accumulated into these past few months of restlessness. i am only really starting to know how to handle when i disassociate and feel not of my own body. i am only really starting to know again how to be gentle with myself, how to relearn/regain/reconnect all of the parts of me that have been hard to hang onto.
and i know that i love you a lot; i know that i owe you nothing but am still so deeply grateful that if i were to pick up the phone, call you at 2am and come knocking while you slept, you’d pick up, open your doors and put a pause in your rest, hear me say, “i’m feeling crazy” and legitimize me, listen to me cry and remind me in between your soft and sleepy breaths that something’s gonna give. with you, even when my brain feels scrambled, it always feels like something’s gonna give.
so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg
FRIENDS - my comrade Imani and an amazing team of folks have been working tirelessly for the past few months trying to raise money to fund a documentary art project to fight the gentrification of Brooklyn. they have raised just a bit over $8,000. please reblog and/or donate if you can.
we did a closing activity today that had 3 different questions - i wanted to share my response to one of them, “what is your hope for greensboro and the south?”
my hope for greensboro and the south:
that each and every new day propels more forward along the arc of justice
that we continue to this work from the heart, from the intersections, from our personal and collective truths without hesitation to recognize who, how and why we hurt
that when freedom comes, when liberation arrives, when justice is reality, we are ready for a new world in which no answers to the questions and challenges to come mirror the reality of today; that our answers do not once again be white supremacy, anti-blackness, homophobia, patriarchy, classism or ableism but instead are works in progress - fueled by an unwavering thirst of hope, love, compassion and patience for the long haul.
today we took our freedom school folks to greensboro to visit the “international civil rights museum” (some questionable things) and then for a grassroots history tour of Greensboro led by Beloved Community Center (founded in 1991 and supported, staffed and organized by Black folks who have a deep relationship with Black struggles in greensboro and A&T).
i learned some really valuable stuff; like for example, “Greensboro 4” is used in revisionist history (history created by folks who weren’t a part of it but wanted to own it) in reference to the 4 Black students from NC Agricultural & Technical State University who did a sit-in at the woolworth’s lunch counter in downtown Greensboro, protesting discrimination and wanting to uplift the problems their community was facing. what should be used instead and in truth is “A&T 4” because NC A&T’s campus and Greensboro were two different places - Greensboro was essentially whites only and A&T was an all Black college where students stayed basically full time for groceries, classes, social events, etc. so these 4 young men were, in the words of Mr. Brandon, “in Greensboro but not of Greensboro.”
that felt really powerful because local folks doing the local work need to be able to own it. and because the revisionist history is so tied to White greensboro wanted to revamp its city by instating an “international civil rights museum” and then calling on these 4 students as a means to make profit.
my mom is staying up late tonight to sew to make sure that she finishes all of the orders that are due for tomorrow. she messages me on facebook to tell me that she may be staying up really late and she would really like it if i sent her a picture of nicole because she misses her so much.
i will never not be bitter about middle class catholic vietnamese kids with their bible vietnamese language school trying to correct me on how i speak vietnamese because my family is from southern viet nam and i learned about 0 things from textbooks
we need to stop idealizing “speaking out” to the point where victims/survivors feel coerced to share their traumatic experiences around sexualized violence because they feel like they need to prove that they deserve support for being “brave enough” to speak out about it. there is tremendous strength and vulnerability in silence. i need us to stop relying on this model of bleeding ourselves dry in order for transformation of the self and others to happen.
got up to say bye to jess cuz she’s heading back to richmond and i’m taking care of tabi for the rest of the time i’m in raleigh.
that was at like 6:30am and then i took tabi for a nice walk down the street and to the neighborhood park. i came back and made lunch for today - chayote stir fry with onions and rice and some left over egg omelette that q made! now it’s only 8:30 and i still have some time to lay in bed. i feel good about today.
Local doulas Jess and LL are working to raise $850 to go to a queer, trans, people of color led doula training in Seattle, Washington. This training will further their goals of building access to abortion, birth, adoption, and miscarriage support.
The fundraiser goes until July 23rd. You can contribute, and learn more about Jess and LL’s work, through the link.
Supporting local birth workers is an important part of advancing reproductive justice. Jess is also a member of our local abortion fund, the Richmond Reproductive Freedom Project, and will bring the skills she learns back to help the RRFP provide better care for low-income people who need abortions.
Thanks for posting this, friend! And thanks so so much to everyone who has donated and shared this already!
I’m really excited about this new adventure I get to go on and about everything that’s going to come after. Thank god folks have my back and I have gotten so much support in making this happen. There’s no way I would have been able to go without everyone’s help and support and encouragement. It took a lot for me to even believe I deserved to go to this, ya know?
the alternator on the van that my mom gave to jess and i to use in richmond, va to get around just broke. the cost of fixing this is at least $400 for labor + the part itself.
i really have nothing to say except for we’re really fucking broke and are gonna try to get this fixed as soon as possible. i’m out of town right now but jess needs a vehicle to get around in this hot ass weather, we also have a dog and live with jess’s dad. we all need support getting around.
right now i don’t have much but i have about $200 to put towards this, if folks can donate a few bucks so that we can at least have $400 to start putting into the car that would be great. in 2/3 weeks i can even try to pay some of y’all back! you just have to let me know.
thanks so much y’all. i’m so stressed about this right now - anything would be helpful.
please reblog and share. thanks again.
just wanted to share this again, if folks could reblog and/or donate that would be great. thanks y’all.